A study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy found that 54 percent of men and 42 percent of women in long-term relationships are unhappy with their sex lives.
In an effort to help the millions of men and women who consider their sex lives sub-par, Dr. Phil offers the following candid advice:
Ask and You may Receive
First and foremost, ask for what you desire. This means that you stop complaining and start voicing your needs. Holding your feelings in can cause a tremendous amount of resentment and frustration. The key to any successful partnership is communication and full disclosure.
Discover Your Partner’s Needs
Probe your partner’s mind to find out what he or she craves sexually. You may be amazed to find out that you both are seeking the same thing — or you may discover new and exciting ways to spice things up.
Negotiate with Each Other
“Relationships are about negotiation and compromise,” says Dr. Phil. If you’re a night warrior and your partner an early-bird, make a pact that you’ll take turns. Find a middle ground that you can both work with, and have fun with it!
A sure way to doom your relationship is to be unwilling to bend or try something new.
Get Each Other in the Mood
A common complaint of married couples or long time partners is that there is no romance left. They become like annoying siblings and forget the magnetic force that once drew them together. Relearn the art of seduction and keep him or her on their toes.
Choose Sex and Romance More Often
Dr. Phil makes an excellent point — if you don’t make sexual intimacy and romance a part of your regular routine, your sex life will most likely take a dive.
According to a study at the University of Toronto by post-doctoral fellow Amy Muise, “individuals higher in sexual communal strength engaged in daily sexual interactions… reported high levels of daily sexual desire.”
Go Beyond Sex
Don’t base your entire relationship on your sex life. Cuddle more often, take up hobbies together, and try to make each other giggle on a regular basis. “Have tremendous love and respect for each other,” prescribes Dr. Phil.
Talk to Your Doctor
If you simply cannot get yourself in the mood, no matter what you try, talk to your doctor about possible biochemical or hormonal issues. They can surely contribute “to a low or high sex drive,” says Dr. Phil
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